Yes, I actually had precisely this conversation with my therapist after publishing this piece and gained some perspective.

In the case where someone blames themselves for the trauma like the situation you mentioned, the first step in healing seems to be accepting their identity as the victim so they can externalize the victimizer.

But it still seems to me that there's a middle path between these two points where one can no longer be responsible for the trauma but responsible for their healing.

Much like a diabetic is not responsible for their condition but they are responsible for treating it.

Any thoughts on that? I'm still thinking about it.

Thanks for reading.