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Self-Acceptance Is the New and Improved Self-Esteem

The Pros and Cons of High and Low Self-Esteem and Why Self-Acceptance Is Better

Matt Gangloff
5 min readApr 11, 2022
Photo by Giulia Bertelli on Unsplash

Self-esteem is bullshit.

You’re not good enough just the way you are and you know it. Don’t believe me?

Ask yourself these questions: what am I doing that I know I shouldn’t be doing? What should I stop doing? What incredibly stupid thing am I doing to ruin my life?

If nothing comes to mind, you can stop reading now. But chances are, if you’re anything like me, a litany of things come to mind. You’re falling short of your own ideal, not society’s, not your parents. Your own.

That’s why, when you confess those thoughts to a friend and they reach across the table and gently grasp your forearm and look deeply into your eyes and say, “Listen to me. You’re amazing. You’re perfect just the way you are,” you know it’s bullshit.

Okay, okay. That’s a false dichotomy.

Just because you’re not perfect doesn’t mean that self-esteem is bullshit. But there is a downside to high self-esteem. And there is an upside to low self-esteem. Both have pros and both have cons.

Maybe improving self-esteem isn’t the point at all. Maybe it’s something different. Maybe…

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Matt Gangloff
Matt Gangloff

Written by Matt Gangloff

I teach the how-to’s of Post-Traumatic Growth: How to heal and grow, find a new mission, become your best self and build a meaningful life. www.mattgangloff.com

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