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Anger Is a Reminder to Set Boundaries
What Anger Is, Why It Exists, How to Recognize It, and How to Use It to Set Healthy Boundaries
This Is The Best Definition of Anger I’ve Ever Heard
Right now, I’m in Oaxaca City, Mexico and the streets are packed. Last night, this guy was walking so close to me that I could feel his breath on my neck. And I got angry. Why? Because he was too close.
Then, I thought, don’t get angry. Don’t turn around and tell this guy to back off. Good people don’t do that.
That’s when I remembered an important lesson about what anger is and why it shows up.
The purpose of anger is to modulate distance. Anger shows up when things are too close and it tells you to push them away. Sometimes those are physical boundaries.
But more often, anger is a reminder to set emotional boundaries.
Why We Repress Anger
People don’t like anger because they associate anger with violence. And sometimes that’s true. But, most of the time, experiencing anger does not equal acting out in anger. Or at least, it doesn’t have to.
Men and women get different flavors of that same message. We tell young women to…
